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Headline Anagrams
Anagrams made from headlines. Obviously.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
BP Corrects Its Safety Hazards...Not
Headlines report a crackdown on the oil industry (10/31/09):
OSHA Hits BP with Record Fine
Internal company memos say it somewhat differently:
Botched Repair Now Fish Sh*t
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Friday, October 30, 2009
What Would Jesus Do?
And now some news from the religious left (10/30/09):
Pastors Unite to Support Same-Sex Marriage in DC
Just how did this come about?
Re: A Pact's Pretext - Must Praise God; Amour Is No Sin
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Time Flies
Airlines making headlines again (10/27/09):
2 Pilots Say They Were Distracted by Laptops:
Also causing a buzz on the internet:
2 Twitters: They Dally;
Oops! Crap, Passed It. Bye.
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Monday, October 26, 2009
Not Just Another Washington Cover Up
In DC, folks are uptight over more than just healthcare, wars, & the economy (10/26/09):
Man Disputes Indecent Exposure Charge
And what does the rest of the world think about this?
Nudes Expect Deep Shrugs -- Not in America!
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Friday, October 23, 2009
Government Takeover Gone Awry
DC again makes the front page of The Washington Post (10/23/09):
Government Widens Control Over Paychecks
Or to say it another way:
AIG's Nervy Perks Concern DC; "Love to Own Them!"
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Pray, Not Another Catholic Conspiracy
News from the right (10/20/09):
Catholic Church to Allow Ordination of Married Former Anglican Priests
Begets pleas from the left:
Foil an Archaic Liar! Install No More Nuts from the Right! (Or We Drop CCD) - Ciao
Read all about it in The Examiner
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
New Use for Old Drug
And now from the Post, some good news for aging liberals (10/20/09):
U.S. Eases Stance on Medical Marijuana
And why?
AMA Manual: Joints Cure Diseases, Acne
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Sad Day for Liberals and Polar Bears
Bad news for the environment in today's Post (10/20/09):
Shell Wins Federal Approval to Drill for Oil Off Alaska Coast
What the Post meant to say was:
To Save Alaska's Wildlife, Call Off Plans to Drill! (Horror of EPA)
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Monday, October 19, 2009
Foolish Spending
Is it just a slow news day in Washington? (10/19/09):
Frugality Falling Out of Fashion?
Or are Post reporters simply watering down the facts?:
Fools Hitting Iffy Gala Run Afoul
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Related stories
:
A Youthful Fool's Tingling Affair
Guilty Fools Again Lift for Fun - Ha!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
It's Nuts to Lighten Up on Agribusiness
Environmental concerns make headlines in the Sunday LA Times (10/18/09):
Scientists Object to Federal Order on Pesticide Testing
But there is an upside to our slacker government policies:
Recent Job Tests Indicate Poison Gets Rid of Red Testicle
Read all about it in the LA Times
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Pigging Out is Symptomatic
More news in the Post on the flu pandemic (10/17/09):
Swine Flu Characteristics Becoming More Evident
For more specific information, read on:
Tail? Corn Cob Fetish? Urges in Sewer? MD, Vaccine Time
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Friday, October 16, 2009
Durbin Scores for Crack Heads
Senators and drugs always make for good news (10/16/09):
Bill Targets Sentencing Rules For Crack and Powder Cocaine
And now you can read all about it on twitter:
Durbin Twitter: "Prefer Lone Gang Scene - Crack, Occasional LSD"
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Hey Big Spender...
Seems the economy is always in the headlines at The Washington Post (10/15/09):
Report Card Due on Stimulus
And the news is always the same:
Usual DC Rut: Spend More! Riot!
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Coloradons Eat for Less
The Washington Post has bad news for low-income workers (10/14/09):
Colorado to Lower its Minimum Wage
In other words:
Rigid Co. Law Won Out; Omit More Meals!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Mickey's Retail Rollercoaster
The economy again makes headlines in The New York Times (10/13/09):
Disney's Retail Plan is a Theme Park in Stores
Though consumer woes go largely unreported:
As I Sit, a Parent is at Risk; Toys Need Merlin's Help
Read all about it in The New York Times
Monday, October 12, 2009
White House Melt Down
The Washington Post shines a light on global warming (10/12/09):
Obama Urged to Intensify Push for Climate Measure
As the world swells with anticipation:
Forecast Heats Up; Frigid EU's Entirely Mum on Obama
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Tyson Fresh Meat - Yeah, Right
The Post reports a tough break for the meat industry (10/11/09):
Shipments Blocked From U.S. Meatpacker
Spreading despair among carnivores:
Meat Eaters Bum: Pork is No McDs! Help KFC!
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Obama to Share Prize with Bush...Not!
A long winded headline from a conservative columnist (10/10/09):
President Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize Win Mocks Award; GOP has Ammunition on Iran, Afghanistan
elicits an equally long-winded liberal reply:
New American Prez Acknowledges Past Abomination (a.k.a. Bush) Brings a Commendation; No Rap if Pariah
Read all about it in the NY Daily News
Friday, October 9, 2009
Droppings in Earnings
The Post's Business Digest reports good news for one soda company (10/09/09):
PepsiCo Improves Despite Sales Drop
though the news isn't as good for its competitors:
Mice Poop Sedative is Dr. Pepper's Loss
Read all about it in The Washington Post
(scroll down)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Caligula Curriculum
More eye-popping local news in today's Post (10/08/09):
Md. University System to Adopt Rules on Use of Pornographic Films
In other words:
U.Md. Professors Grope Flesh (Yummy), Insist Porn Vital to Education
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Direct from the article - not making this up - "University officials are looking into policy language that might require that any materials considered obscene be presented along with an educational component." Um, okay.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Full Service Spa Treatments
From a local report in The Washington Post (10/07/09):
Camry Plows Into Salon in Bethesda
a niche service is born:
Hot Oil Body Wrap Cleanses Man's Tin
Read all about it in The Washington Post
No More Mr. Nice Guy...Ho Ho Ho
The Post's Business Digest paints a bleak holiday outlook for retailers (10/07/09):
Neiman's Christmas Book Reflects Belt-Tightening
And it looks even worse for high tech:
Santa Trims Ten Geeks from Nice List, Hobbling Tech
Read all about it in The Washington Post
(scroll down)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
In DC, You Get What You Pay For
A headline from The Washington Post (10/06/09):
AAA Predicts the Price of Gas Could Go as Low as $2 a Gallon
Another headline from a Washington insider:
What Could a Person Get for $2? CIA Apologies
(DC's Saga - La La!)
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Monday, October 5, 2009
Vegetarians to South Dakota: Told You So!
The AP reports on life up north (10/05/09):
44 Tons of Rotting Meat Stink Up SD Town
Leading PETA to publish its own reports:
SD Town Skins Man; 44 Get Tofutti Pronto
Read all about it
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A Fed with a Gun Walks into a Bar...
The Washington Post reports concerns over current gun laws (10/03/09):
450 Mayors Petition Obama To Adopt Broad Gun Reform
To understand the full extent of the problem, unscramble the headline:
Yo! ATF Agents Admit Doom -
Arm 450 Poor, Pirate Bourbon
Read all about it in The Washington Post
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Washington Tries to Clean Up Its Act
The Post uncovers more dirt in Washington (10/01/09):
EPA, Senate Take Aim at Greenhouse Gases
Of course, if the paper were really as liberal as it used to be, it may have come right out and said:
Senate Teases: Aha! Eat Sea Grime - Nuke GOP!
Read all about it in The Washington Post
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2009
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BP Corrects Its Safety Hazards...Not
What Would Jesus Do?
Time Flies
Not Just Another Washington Cover Up
Government Takeover Gone Awry
Pray, Not Another Catholic Conspiracy
New Use for Old Drug
Sad Day for Liberals and Polar Bears
Foolish Spending
It's Nuts to Lighten Up on Agribusiness
Pigging Out is Symptomatic
Durbin Scores for Crack Heads
Hey Big Spender...
Coloradons Eat for Less
Mickey's Retail Rollercoaster
White House Melt Down
Tyson Fresh Meat - Yeah, Right
Obama to Share Prize with Bush...Not!
Droppings in Earnings
Caligula Curriculum
Full Service Spa Treatments
No More Mr. Nice Guy...Ho Ho Ho
In DC, You Get What You Pay For
Vegetarians to South Dakota: Told You So!
A Fed with a Gun Walks into a Bar...
Washington Tries to Clean Up Its Act
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August
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S.C. MacDorman
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